Beating Your Children

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If you ever wondered why Africans beat their children, then read up on this repost.

Copied….

Children nowadays don’t even know that in our days you could be beaten for any of the following reasons:

1. Crying after being beaten.
2. Not crying after being beaten.
3. Crying without being beaten.
4. Standing while the elders are seated.
5. Sitting while the elders are standing.
6. Walking around aimlessly where the elders are seated.
7. Replying back to an elder.
8. Not replying back to an elder.
9. Spending too much time without being beaten.
10. Singing after being admonished.
11. Not greeting visitors.
12. Eating food prepared for the visitors.
13. Crying to go with the visitors when the visitors are leaving.
14. Refusing to eat.
15. Coming back home after sunset.
16. Eating at the neighbour’s home.
17. Generally being moody.
18. Generally being too excited.
19. Fighting with your age mate and losing.
20. Fighting with your age mate and winning.
21. Eating too slowly.
22. Eating too quickly.
23. Eating too much.
24. Not finishing your food.
25. Scraping your plate
26. Eating and talking
27. Talking and chewing
28. Sleeping while the elders had already woken up.
29. Looking at the visitors while they are eating.
30. Stumbling and falling when walking.

31. Looking at an elder eye ball to eye ball.
32. When an elder is talking to you and you blink your eye.
33. When an elder is talking to you and you stared without blinking.
34. When you look at an elder with a corner eye.
When an elder points at you.
35. When your mates were playing Street football and you joined them to play.
36. When your mates were playing and you were not playing with them.
37. When you don’t wash your dish
38. When you don’t wash your dish properly
39. When you break your dish
40. When you bite your nails.

41. When you fail your exams. That was a serious crime.
42. When you get canned in school or any kind of offense committed in school. That fetched you more canning at home.
43. When you go to the local stream to frolic.
44. When you steal fruits from trees. This always attracted canning. But it was always worth the troubles for most kids. Can believe now kids have to be tricked & coaxed into eating fruit when we actually risked death by arrows, catapulted stones, flying cutlasses & being eaten by wild domesticated dogs, just to eat fruits.😀😀😀

Some of these reasons for beating a child may seem farfetched to children now, but they sure did give us some solid values, Some not effective but we learnt to be better parents now. 😀

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One Hundred Tributes for One

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We recently lost our Grand mother…

She passed on in the morning, on Monday, 2nd September, 2018.

She was laid to rest on Saturday, 8th September, 2018.

She was a few years over hundred. Her exact age was a point of debate. Since it was unanimously agreed she was over a hundred years old, the logical thing was to state her age simply as hundred.

She matched amongst plus the hundred,

Amidst all and sundry, her kindred.

She lived her plus the hundred,

And stood out like one in a hundred.

Our Mama lived cherished,
And will never for us, be perished.
Ever she is so revered,

For so long very endeared.

Rest In Peace Ngo….
We fondly remember your cheer..

The English Problem that is Nigeria

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The problems of Nigeria started with the confusion in speaking English.

Let me break it down for you…

While the British will say ‘Extreme’ & the American say ‘End’, the Nigerian will do the unnecessary & say ‘Extreme end’.

The trend continues…

The British say ‘Knicker’

The American say ‘Short’

But the Nigerian says ‘Short knicker’.

British : Salon

American : Barbershop

Nigerian: Barbing salon

British: Bend

American: corner

Nigerian: Bending corner

British: So

American: Therefore

Nigerian: So therefore

British: Tell me the reason

America: Tell me why

Nigeria: Tell me the reason why

British: Ten Pounds each

American: Ten Dollars each

Nigerian: Ten Ten naira each.

Still…
The American says ‘Completely’
The British says ‘Finished’
And the Nigerian says ‘Completely Finished’.

Now you can grasp where the Nigeria confusion stems from.

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Death only passes by…

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Victors don’t flourish if their vanquished had perished and death can only lose.

If the fear we bear of death doesn’t give death peace of mind, then what has death?

Death can’t have us or keep us for he passes on only, going through us for the briefest of memonts.

Death tends to reveal the two most important lessons in our lives and these are firstly:

Where there is a life, there are always lies.

And secondly,

Every road leads to the same place.

Death’s power ends where it starts.

Another Noah’s Ark

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This days it rains everyday, all day & night long too. So it got many of us thinking maybe somewhere nearby, another Noah is quite diligently following God’s instructions to build yet another Ark.

Just maybe we didn’t make the cut and weren’t invited, so we know nothing about it.

With all the craziness going on around us these days, it was obvious the almighty must be about ready to do another whole scale mopping up.

So we all became quite vigilant, checking our area & beyond, for further hints of this being the case.

Please if any of you see animals walking in pairs,

🐐🐐

🐓🐓

🐎🐎

Don’t just think its nothing.

Follow them closely, they might be heading for the ARK.

And please let us know too…

Please if any of you see animals walking in pairs,

🐐🐐

🐓🐓

🐎🐎

Don’t just think its nothing. Follow them closely, they might be heading for the ARK.

And please let us know too…

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Then two of my wives’ domesticated Pigeons disappeared yesterday, one male & one female.

Just this morning, we heard our neighbor’s pair of Goats vanished too…

Yep… you guessed it, they’re a male & a female pair too.

Should we be worried?

Soccer’s Strange But True…… by Matthew Ennin

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Some Strange But True And Amazing

Football Facts.

1. When Barcelona’s Xavi was 19, he almost

signed for Milan. His father gave his “yes”

to him but his mother said “if Xavi leaves

Barca, I will divorce!”

2. While Zlatan Ibrahimovich’s youth team

was 4-0 down, he came in as a substitute

and scored 8 goals.

3. Juan Mata is the first player in history to

have joined Manchester United from

Chelsea.

5. Alex Song has 27 siblings – 17 sisters and

10 brothers.

6. Ryan Giggs is the only Premier League

player to score 100 goals without scoring a

hat- trick.

7. Cristiano Ronaldo was named after

former US President Ronald Reagan.

8. Steven Gerrard has swapped his jersey

with more than a hundred players, but

never with a Man United player.

9. Ronaldinho first gained media attention

when his youth team won 23 – 0. He scored

all 23 goals.

10. Chelsea have been relegated more times

than they have won the English league.

11. The difference in Messi’s age and

Ronaldo’s age is 869 days, the same

difference as between Messi’s son and

Ronaldo’s son.

12. Zinedine Zidane was never caught in

offside position in his whole career.

13. Only one GOLD Premier League trophy

has been awarded and it was to Arsenal

because in 2003/2004 season, they didn’t

lose any match.

14. Brazilian legend, Pele, scored 92 hat-

tricks, 4 goals on 31 occasions, 5 goals on 6

occasions, and 8 goals on an occasion.

15. When Mourinho says you have a bright

future, it means you can’t make his team at

the present.

16. Cristiano Ronaldo was expelled from

school at the age of 14 after throwing a

chair at his teacher for mocking his family’s

financial status.

17. CR7 has no tattoos because he

frequently gives blood and getting a tattoo

will render him unable to do so for 6

months.

18. Real Madrid sold 50,000 James

Rodriguez jerseys in one day. Juventus sold

0 (zero) Bendtner jersey in one season.

19. In January 2003, Louis Van Gaal was

SACKED by Barcelona after leaving them just

3 points above the relegation zone.

20. Louis Van Gaal and David Moyes

attended the same Tactical Management

School.

21. Arsenal bought Anelka, Overmars, Petit,

Henry, Vieira, Fabregas, RVP, Adebayor and

Nasri all together for £42 million. Then sold

them for £206 million.

22. Hearts of Oak never lost a game in the

Ghana Premier League but they couldn’t

clinch the league title.

Which One Of Them Do You Find

Interesting??

Wise Cookies

A young lady was waiting for her flight in the boarding room of a big airport. As she would need to wait many hours, she decided to buy a book to spend her time and also bought a packet of cookies, then sat down in an armchair, in the VIP room of the airport, to rest and read in peace.

Beside the armchair where the packet of cookies lay, a man sat down in the next seat, opened his magazine and started reading. When she took out the first cookie, the man took one also. She felt irritated but said nothing. She just thought “What a nerve! If I was in the mood I would punch him for daring!” For each cookie she took, the man took one too.

This was infuriating her but she didn’t want to cause a scene. When only one cookie remained, she thought: “Ah… what would this abusive man do now?” Then, the man, taking the last cookie, divided it into half, giving her one half. What! That was too much! She was much too angry now!

In a huff, she insulted the man, took her book, her things and stormed to the boarding place. When she sat down in her seat, inside the plane, she looked into her bag to take her eyeglasses, and, to her surprise, her packet of cookies was there, untouched, unopened! She felt so ashamed! She realized that she was wrong. She had forgotten that her cookies were in her bag.

The man had shared his cookies with her, without feeling angered or bitter, while she had been very angry, thinking that she was sharing her cookies with him. And now there was no chance to explain herself… nor to apologize.

In life, there are 4 things that you cannot recover…
1. The cake… after it’s eaten!
2. The word… after it’s been said!
3. The occasion… after the loss!
4. The time… after it’s gone!

Let’s all be careful and watch our ATTITUDE ALWAYS.

Writer : Unknown