All in the hands of God
This is a reblog from Ninure da Hippie’s Blog
(Just another Rainbow Christian’s Blog)
Posted on June 24, 2012
MOSES REQUESTS TECHNICAL SUPPORT
“Excuse me, sir.”
“Is that you again, Moses?”
“I’m afraid it is, sir.”
“What is it this time, Moses. More computer problems?”
“How did you guess?”
“I don’t have to guess, Moses. Remember?”
“Oh, yeah. I forgot.”
“Tell me what you want, Moses.”
“But you already know. Remember?”
“Well, go ahead, Moses. Spit it out!”
“Well, I have a question, Sir. You know those ten things you sent me?”
“You mean the Commandments, Moses?”
“That’s it. I was wondering if they were important.”
“What do you mean ‘were important, Moses? Of course, they are important. Otherwise I wouldn’t have sent them to you.”
“Well, sorry, but I lost them. I could say the dog at them, but of course you would see right through that.”
“What do you mean ‘you lost them! Are you trying to tell me you didn’t save them, Moses?”
“No, sir. I forgot.”
“You should always save, Moses.”
“Yeah, I know. You told me that before. I was going to, but I forgot. I did send them to some people before I lost them though.”
“And did you hear back from any of them?”
“You already know I did.”
“What about the one guy who said he never uses ‘shalt not’. Can he change the words a little bit?”
“Yes, Moses. As long as he doesn’t change the meaning.”
“And what about the guy who thought your stance was a little harsh and recommended calling them the Ten Suggestions, or letting people pick one or two to try for a while?”
“Moses, I’ll act like I didn’t hear that.”
“I think that means, ‘no’. Well, what about the guy who said I was scamming him?”
“I think that is spamming, Moses.”
“Oh, yeah. I e-mailed him back and told him I don’t even eat that stuff, and I have no idea how you can send it to someone through a computer.”
“And what did he say?”
“You know what he said. He used Your name in vain. You don’t think he might have sent me one of those plagues, and that’s the reason I lost those ten things, do you?”
“They’re called viruses, Moses.”
“Whatever! This computer stuff is just too much for me. Can we just go back to those stone tablets? It was hard on my back taking them out and reading them each day, but I never lost them.”
“We’ll do it the new way, Moses.”
“I was afraid you would say that, sir.”
“Moses, what did I tell you to do if you messed up?”
“You told me to hold up this rat and stretch it out toward the computer.”
“It’s a mouse, Moses. Mouse! Mouse! And did you do that?”
“No, I decided to try the technical support first. After all, who knows more about this stuff than you, and I really like your hours. By the way, sir, did Noah have two of these mice on the ark?”
“One other thing. Why didn’t you name them frogs instead of mice, because didn’t you tell me the thing they sit on is a pad?”
“I didn’t name them, Moses. Man did, and you can call yours a frog if you want to.”
“Oh, that explains it. Kind of like Adam, huh, sir? I bet some woman told him to call it a mouse. After all, wasn’t it a woman who named one of the computers Apple?”
“Say good night, Moses.”
“Wait a minute, sir. I am stretching out the mouse, and it seems to be working. Yes, a couple of the ten things have come back.”
“Which ones are they, Moses?”
“Let’s see. ‘Thou shalt not steal from any grave an image and ‘Thou shalt not uncover thy neighbor’s wife.’
“Turn the computer off, Moses. I’m sending you another set of stone tablets. How does ‘Same Day Air’ sound?”
This makes a good laugh, but a subtle message does come across and it sounds out quite loudly too. It is in the manner in which man chooses to either misinterpret the message from God he does understand or as it is the case most times, misunderstands the message completely.
The following poem however touches on that essentially rare moment when the message is not misunderstood and not misinterpreted, but oddly it proves to be rather not realistic. This is because of the very humanly inability of man to determine the practicality of the message.
Speak, Oh Lord!
AVANT GARDE, CAUSE CÉLÈBRE
(A very famous trial ahead of fashion)
“Wake up, you’re dead.
What says your plea?”
“Pray, I am in bed.
You come and flee.”
“Arise, you sleep not.
Your dreams all end.”
“Pardon, my reason is rot.
I am no fiend.”
“I ask not for I know.
State your stewardship?”
“To those above I, I bow.
For those beneath I, I reap.”
“Did they smile above,
Were they glad beneath?
“With every pain I solve,
With every single breath.”
“What of all the lands
And all that is of it?”
“With my mind and hands
I cared for every bit.”
“What of I, thy Lord?
Did thee walk My path?”
“I knew not only one word,
Couldn’t tell lie from fact.”
Massage from Ninure da Hippie’s Blog
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