CELESTIAL ASS

Tags

ass, bishop, celestial, church, Donkey, facebook, Humour, joke, laugh, Life, news, newspaper, nun, pastor, People, Race, Time

Copied from facebook

The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and
it won.
The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey
that he entered it in the race again and it won again.
The local paper read:
PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of
publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES
PASTOR’S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop so he
ordered the Pastor to get
rid of the donkey.
The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a
nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted
the following headline the next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted.
He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farm for $10.
The next day the paper read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10

This was too much for the Bishop so he
ordered the Nun to buy back
the donkey and lead it to the plains where
it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The Bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . . even shorten your life.
So be yourself and enjoy life.
Stop worrying about everyone else’s ass
and just cover your own !!!
You’ll be a lot happier and live longer!

Have a great week guys & dolls ♥️

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Ruby Bridges: Racism is a grown up disease.

Tags

american, army, black, education, kennedy, People, police, President, racism, school, Time, us

By Alex Kovow on facebook

I cant believe this and am so embarrassed that this history is absent from 20 years of education I received in Ghana right up to tertiary level. I have learnt about Winston Churchill, Mungo Park, Marco Polo, Sir Francis Drake and Christopher Columbus and how great they were. No one ever taught me about the guts of this little black kid and what she had to endure…
And apparently she is still alive today.
Read on please
In 1960, a 6 year old girl, Ruby Bridges became the world symbol of the courage to learn amidst untold intimidation and hate. The US Supreme court had just ordered that all schools be desegregated in the US to allow black children and white ones study together. The American South, the heart of racial segregation could hear none of it. New Orleans, where Ruby’s parents had settled from Mississipi decided on a plan to keep off the black youngsters and scuttle the court order. They decided to have very difficult entry examinations that black students couldn’t pass to frustrate their efforts to study with white students and the exam was only given to black students. Despite the painfully difficult exams, six black children passed, including Ruby.

The examinations body decided Ruby Bridges be admitted to the William Frantz Elementary school to begin her nursery studies. The community, teachers of the school and pupils would hear none of it. When Ruby reported for her first day in nursery school, there were violent riots and people threw objects at her. The following day all parents withdrew their children from the school. All the teachers also withdrew from the school saying they couldn’t teach a black kid. Except one brave teacher Barbara Henry.

Realizing that the US State of New Orleans wanted to disobey a court order requiring them to admit black children, President Dwight Eisenhower ordered that Ruby must attend school and sent Federal Marshalls to escort Ruby daily to school. Little did he know, the US soldiers would escort the young six year old girl for a record one year.

As she went to school daily, escorted by US Soldiers, Large crowds of adults and their children gathered by the road side who abused her, threw objects at her. One woman who cooked at the school threatened to poison her. The Marshalls decided she must now eat at her own home. A woman in the crowd daily showed her the image of a black doll in a wooden coffin as they spat on her. Locals shops refused to sell anything to her parents. They were turned away from every shop they went. Then the girl started having stress and would wake her mother in the middle of the night seeking comfort. The hate was too much to bear.

For one year, US soldiers escorted the brave Ruby to William Frantz school where there were only two people, Teacher Barbara and one student Ruby. They sat side by side or facing each other. There was nobody else. President Eisenhower handed over power and the predicament of Ruby Bridges to President John Kennedy. After one year, with the parents and protesting teachers realizing Ruby and Presidents Eisenhower and Kennedy not flinching an inch, decided to return their children to school. Then the racist teachers returned. After a full one year. Ruby Bridges had stoically fought racism as a six year old.

As one of the soldiers who daily escorted her for one year Charles Burks would later say, “She never cried or whimpered, she just marched along like a little soldier.” Churks said guarding Ruby was the highlight of his career, the most important thing he ever did.

Ruby is now the chair of Ruby Bridges Foundation, which she formed in 1999 to promote “the values of tolerance, respect, and appreciation of all differences.”

She was recently reunited with Barbara, the teacher who refused to go with the crowd and teach one pupil for one year and give her a future. Barbara still lives in New Orleans with her husband and children. In her memorable words ‘Racism is a grown up disease and we should stop using our kids to spread it”

She lived to see a black man become president of the United States and was imvited to the White House where President Obama showed her a drawing of herself being escorted to school in 1960 engraved in the most powerful office on earth, immortalized for posterity.

The Perfect Story for Kaduna

Tags

adara, crisis, curfew, Elections, elrufai, Kaduna, kidnap, King, People, Religion, Time, trouble

With the recent crisis in Kaduna State, Northern Nigerian, which broke out on Thursday 18th October, 2018, the almost immediate spill over on Sunday 21st October, 2018, and then the Friday 26th October, 2019; this latest one following this breaking news:

“KIDNAPPED AGOM ADARA MURDERED

The king of Adara, Kachia LGA, Southern Kaduna, His Highness, Dr Maiwada Galadima, Agom Adara, who was kidnapped on the Oct 19, on his way back from a meeting with Gov El-Rufai has been murdered after the payment ₦5 million ransom.”

The criticism has been centered on this being a political killing….

Some want it to be known that the State Government under the leadership of Mal. El- Rufai has shown it’s clear disdain for southern sections of the State because of the incessant problem in these areas.

The Fulani herdsmen tagged conflict in these southern most part of the state has not fully abated & a majority of these sections had voted against the ruling party in previous elections, regardless of the official results announced after the last LG elections.

Governor El-Rufai’s utterances & actions, since assuming office has been said by some critics to have breeded the current crisis and killings going on in Kaduna state. To these persons El-Rufia’s utterances have always been laddened with hate for these particular section of the state.

Watch this video https://t.co/oyxtG897V5

video of elrufai

But though El-Rufai is not known for moderation & tact in his blunt utterances, but he is not entirely wrong.

It is true that the narrative on BOTH sides has been lace with more exclusive undertones than unconditional peaceful overtures.

The Story of Kaduna’s reoccurring ethnic-religious crisis is that of endless reprisals.

I read the perfect most story recently that all the people in Kaduna must read.

A delightful cousin of mine had put it up on whassap.

“At the time of Obatala The King in Yoruba land,
Three people came to him dragging a young man with them and said to him:
Kabiyesi!!! (Your highness) This man has murdered our father.

Obatala: Why did you kill their father?

Young man: I’m a goatherd. My goat ate from their father’s farm, and he threw a stone at my goat and it died; so I also took the stone and threw it at their father and he also died.

Obatala: Because of this, I pass judgment on your charge of murder by sentencing you to death.

The Young man said:
I ask for 3 days before you execute the judgment. My late father left me some wealth and I have a sister to take care of. If you kill me now, the wealth and my sister will have no guardian.

Obatala: Who will stand for your bail?

Young man: Looking into the crowd, he pointed at Lamurudu.

Obatala asked: Do you agree to stand for him, Lamurudu?

Lamurudu answered, Beeni (yes).

Obatala enquired further: You agree to stand for someone you don’t know, and if he doesn’t return you’ll receive his penalty.

Lamurudu answered: I accept.

The young man left but after two days, and into the third day there was still no sign of him.

Everyone was very afraid for Lamurudu who had accepted to receive the penalty of death if the man failed to return.

Just before it was time for dinner, the Goat Herdsman appeared looking very exhausted and he stood before Obatala.

The Young man spoke up: I have handed the wealth and the welfare of my sister to my uncle and I am back to receive the penalty.

You may execute the penalty now.

In great shock and surprise, Obatala said: And why did you return after having a chance to escape the death penalty?

Young man:

I was afraid, it will appear that humanity has lost integrity and the ability to fulfill promises kept”.

Obatala turned and looked at Lamurudu and asked him: And why did you stand for him?

Lamurudu responded:

I was afraid, it might appear that humanity have lost the will to do good to others.”

These words and events moved the brothers who had wanted justice for their father’s death very deeply and they decided to forgive the young goat herdsman.

In furious anger, Obatala asked “Why?!!!”

They said:

We are afraid, it will appear as though forgiveness has lost place in the heart of humanity.

I have also share this beautiful message and passed it on with the hope that it might be a reminder of how forgiveness is an integral aspect of peace. Such that doing good may not be ever lost to us.

I encourage all the sides in Kaduna to embrace peace, forgive & forget all the ills supposedly done to them in the past or present. Let it pass on, or else I fear that…. Our humanity is slowly being lost.

Be safe & God bless you always.

THE FUTURE IS HERE

Tags

future, green, ibm, kodak, Life, Nigeria, Peace, Time, uber, USA, watson, World

By Lukman Babalola Sanni

Just 17 years ago, Kodak had 170,000 employees and sold 85% of all photo paper worldwide. Within just a few years, their business model disappeared and they were bankrupt. This will happen in a lot of industries in the next 10 years – and most people in those industries don’t see it coming.

It will happen with Artificial Intelligence, health, autonomous and electric cars, education, 3D printing, agriculture and jobs. Software disrupting 90% of traditional industries within 5-10 years. It is amazing to think that Uber is just a software tool, they don’t own any cars, and are now the biggest taxi company in the world. Airbnb is now the biggest hotel company in the world, although they don’t own any properties.

In the US, young lawyers can’t get jobs. Because of IBM Watson, you can get legal advice within seconds, with 90% accuracy compared with 70% accuracy when done by humans. Watson already helps nurses diagnose cancer, 4 time more accurate than human nurses. Facebook has a pattern recognition software that can recognize faces better than humans. In 2030, computers will become more intelligent than humans.

In 2019 the first self-driving cars will appear. By 2022 most of us won’t own a car anymore. You will call a car with your phone, it will show up and drive you to your destination. Our kids will never get a driver’s licence and will never own a car.

Cities will have 90-95% less cars, parking space can become parks. We now have one car accident every 60,000 miles, autonomous driving will drop that to 6 million miles and save a million lives each year. Many car companies could become bankrupt. Without accidents, insurance will become 100 times cheaper, the car insurance business model will disappear. Real estate will change, because working while you commute will enable people to live better further away.

Cities will be less noisy because cars will be electric. Electricity will be incredibly cheap and clean: Last year, more solar energy was installed worldwide than new fossil installations. The price for solar will drop so much that coal companies will be out of business by 2025.

With cheap electricity comes cheap and abundant water. Desalination now only needs 2kWh per cubic meter. Imagine what will be possible if anyone can have as much clean water as they need, for nearly no cost.

One of the major beneficiaries will be health: There will be companies who will build a medical device called the “Tricorder”, that works with your phone, taking your retina scan, your blood sample and when you breathe into it. it analyses 54 biomarkers that will identify nearly any disease. It will be cheap, so in a few years everyone on this planet will have access to world class medicine, nearly for free.

The future is already here.
*Is Nigeria Ready for the Future?*

Are Nigerians ready for the future?

The changes are quietly creeping in on us;
*Who is using Post Office today?
*In the last 2 years many people have not bought or read newspaper.
*TV and cable TV is on its way out with smart TV connected to internet and you can watch millions of channel with your data.

The future is already here. Are you part of the future? Are your children part of the future?

Beating Your Children

Tags

Africa, African, animals, beating, child, Children, children. story, fruits, joke, kiddies, kids, Mother, People, Time, wisdom

If you ever wondered why Africans beat their children, then read up on this repost.

Copied….

Children nowadays don’t even know that in our days you could be beaten for any of the following reasons:

1. Crying after being beaten.
2. Not crying after being beaten.
3. Crying without being beaten.
4. Standing while the elders are seated.
5. Sitting while the elders are standing.
6. Walking around aimlessly where the elders are seated.
7. Replying back to an elder.
8. Not replying back to an elder.
9. Spending too much time without being beaten.
10. Singing after being admonished.
11. Not greeting visitors.
12. Eating food prepared for the visitors.
13. Crying to go with the visitors when the visitors are leaving.
14. Refusing to eat.
15. Coming back home after sunset.
16. Eating at the neighbour’s home.
17. Generally being moody.
18. Generally being too excited.
19. Fighting with your age mate and losing.
20. Fighting with your age mate and winning.
21. Eating too slowly.
22. Eating too quickly.
23. Eating too much.
24. Not finishing your food.
25. Scraping your plate
26. Eating and talking
27. Talking and chewing
28. Sleeping while the elders had already woken up.
29. Looking at the visitors while they are eating.
30. Stumbling and falling when walking.

31. Looking at an elder eye ball to eye ball.
32. When an elder is talking to you and you blink your eye.
33. When an elder is talking to you and you stared without blinking.
34. When you look at an elder with a corner eye.
When an elder points at you.
35. When your mates were playing Street football and you joined them to play.
36. When your mates were playing and you were not playing with them.
37. When you don’t wash your dish
38. When you don’t wash your dish properly
39. When you break your dish
40. When you bite your nails.

41. When you fail your exams. That was a serious crime.
42. When you get canned in school or any kind of offense committed in school. That fetched you more canning at home.
43. When you go to the local stream to frolic.
44. When you steal fruits from trees. This always attracted canning. But it was always worth the troubles for most kids. Can believe now kids have to be tricked & coaxed into eating fruit when we actually risked death by arrows, catapulted stones, flying cutlasses & being eaten by wild domesticated dogs, just to eat fruits.😀😀😀

Some of these reasons for beating a child may seem farfetched to children now, but they sure did give us some solid values, Some not effective but we learnt to be better parents now. 😀

One Hundred Tributes for One

Tags

African Poetry, Age, Death, Die, grandmum, hundred, Mother, ngo, Old, People, poem, Poetry, Time

We recently lost our Grand mother…

She passed on in the morning, on Monday, 2nd September, 2018.

She was laid to rest on Saturday, 8th September, 2018.

She was a few years over hundred. Her exact age was a point of debate. Since it was unanimously agreed she was over a hundred years old, the logical thing was to state her age simply as hundred.

She matched amongst plus the hundred,

Amidst all and sundry, her kindred.

She lived her plus the hundred,

And stood out like one in a hundred.

Our Mama lived cherished,

And will never for us, be perished.

Ever she is so revered,

For so long very endeared.

Rest In Peace Ngo….
We fondly remember your cheer..

Death only passes by…

Tags

dead, Death, Fear, Life, literature, People, Time

Victors don’t flourish if their vanquished had perished and death can only lose.

If the fear we bear of death doesn’t give death peace of mind, then what has death?

Death can’t have us or keep us for he passes on only, going through us for the briefest of memonts.

Death tends to reveal the two most important lessons in our lives and these are firstly:

Where there is a life, there are always lies.

And secondly,

Every road leads to the same place.

Death’s power ends where it starts.

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

Tags

African Poetry, People, poems. poetry, Time, Wise

Galleryface. — Lobster Thoughts

Tags

People, poet, Poetry, rythm, Story, Time

Come, walk down the halls of my faceless gallery, the blistered portraits of nonsense madman howling at self and nobody, but silence. You are intrigued by the lack of intrigue and boredom soon swings her pendulum hypnotizing us both, moan now sure as I am deaf will your cries be heard by none other. We […]

via Galleryface. — Lobster Thoughts

I Wish My Life Was Like A Poem

Tags

Life, poem, poet, Poetry, Story, Time

I wish my life was like a poem then I would be beautiful. I would have rhythm, cadence, imagery; my rhymes they would be plentiful. I would have stanzas of separation, my life would be in order. They would build upon each other from beginning to end –– clear borders. Someone would have […]

via I Wish My Life Was Like A Poem #Poetry — Jalvis Quotes