Shakespeare like you have never read, heard or seen it before.
A geezer of royal lineage took a kip on the beach one day,
When his brother from the chippy poured some poison down his way,
And they found his rotted body and declared that he was dead,
Until he rose twice nightly, and this is what he said:
“Oh send for my son, Hamlet, who lives on Morecambe sands,
And tell the lazy bastard he’s got murder on his hands.”
So Hamlet took the Stagecoach bus and arrived in princely style,
And ran into his father’s ghost along the Golden Mile.
He was walking down the darkened front, looking at ‘illuminations,
And there was his old father, standing tall between the stations.
“Yer took yer bleeding time, me lad, get yer arse over to the tower,
And kick yer no-good Uncle out, before the bugger seizes power.
He’s poisoned my chip butty,and had a bit of the other,
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